Today is an indescribably crappy day. I’m dealing with a weird kind of grief that I have never experienced before, my mental health is down the drain, I’ve been crying a bit too much since waking up, and I am struggling to find any joy in anything. This feeling is not new to me, it’s been like that for most of September, which is why I have been struggling to decorate our new home. But as I walked around to make a cup of tea (obviously), I noticed that there are actually quite a few nooks and crannies that I adore and that, despite my inconsolable mood, give me the tiniest bit of a smile. It’s not perfect by any means, there is nothing aesthetic about our house or how I decorate. Our house is always just a little bit messy and very lived in, there are so many cat toys everywhere that it feels more like it’s the cats’ house than ours (which is how I prefer it), but you can see our personalities in the little nooks that do give me joy. And that’s all that matters.
The top shelf of my horror bookcase makes me indescribably happy • I got these little mice years ago, and I had to glue them back together more than once due to cats, but I love them so much, and they look perfect next to the fireplace • Our tv is hanging on the wall above the fireplace, and I didn’t think I’d love that, but it’s actually incredibly cosy, especially to play Stardew Valley like this. (more…)
Hi. My name is Wen, and I am a chronic overthinker. This has caused plenty of issues in my life, but the one thing that is most affected by this is my University journey. A journey that has started in 2020, and has been full of doubts, sleepless nights, and not being able to make a decision.
It all started when I came across an Instagram post of a blogger I used to follow, in which she showed that she was studying a degree at the Open University. I was intrigued and decided to look into it a bit more, and discovered it was a distance University for which you didn’t need any entry requirements (except for the odd occasional degree). This seemed like a dream come true to me because I quit school when I was 16, before even doing my exams, and have no qualifications or diplomas or anything, which is something I have regretted for most of my adult life. After discussing it with my husband (well, fiancé back then), and him confirming that it was a real University and that the degrees were 100% real, I decided to enrol into a degree in Forensic Psychology. Sadly, shortly after that decision, I had the worst flare up of my chronic illness and needed two surgeries within 1 week, so the idea of the degree was put away for a bit while I worked on recovering of said surgeries (which ended up taking 4 and a half years).
About two and a half weeks ago we moved house, and life has been chaos ever since. Moving house is something I absolutely hate, and to make matters worse, there was a lot of illness around it all. But everything is done now, everything we own has found a home in this house, the cats have settled in, and we have finally finished unpacking! There are still some bits to do but those can wait until we are both done with being ill. Fingers crossed that’ll be soon!
Autumn, my favourite season has finally started, but other than a bit of rain I’ve not seen much of it yet. And in all fairness, I live in England so rain is pretty common during any season and isn’t really a sign of Autumn anymore. My house is decorated for this season pretty much all year round, and I am ashamed to admit that every year I have been spending an insane amount of money on Autumn and Halloween decorations, but this year is different. I am trying to be better and more picky with my spending, and have only bought a few cheap bits and bobs that made me smile. Yesterday I had to pop into Sainsburys and when I noticed the cutest little ceramic pumpkins, pumpkin lights, and the hangers, I just knew I had to take them home with me, especially as I collect pumpkins! Then during our weekly shop at Tesco I found these cute little ceramic ghosts, and I had to take them home as well because, as odd as it might sound, they reminded me of my cats! The one with the bat wings reminds me of our black boy, Pixel, who is a little vampire, the little witch ghost is our tabby girl Luna because I always feel like she’d make the cutest little witch, and the pumpkin one reminded me of our tuxedo girl Sookie, because one of my nicknames for her is little pumpkin belly.
In the evening it’s finally time for the moment I’ve been looking forward to ALL YEAR. One of my absolute favourite things about living in England is watching The Great British Bake Off. I’ve never really been one to watch the telly, as a matter of fact, back in the Netherlands I never ever watched TV. I did always know about Bake Off, but I hadn’t seen any of it until we went to visit my in-laws one day, and it happened to be on the TV, and I’ve been hooked ever since and binged a LOT of the older seasons. It’s now one of my comfort shows, and I even got my husband to love it!
It was a nice, calm, and comforting moment after all the chaos from the last few weeks. Because not only did we have to deal with the move, very stressed cats, and being really poorly, we also had SO many appointments and so much to do that it felt like we couldn’t get a single moment of peace. So last night felt like a little bit of a reset moment where my brain realised that it’s okay to slow down now, and get back to our normal life and routine.
Tomorrow I will finally be able to do some studying as well, because we have finally finished our computer room/office. I say we, but it was absolutely 100% my husband who did all the work, I just placed some pumpkins and cosy decorations, really. My module doesn’t officially start until the first week of October, but the module website has been open since the start of this month, so I am hoping to make a start tomorrow and get ahead a little bit, just in case life happens.
I have a big pot of comforting vegetable soup on the stove, some very soft music on in the background, and I thought this would be the perfect time to write my first post.
At the start of this year I had a craving to start blogging again, after doing it during my teens and twenties, and I missed that feeling of just sitting down and writing about whatever you like. So I started a blog back then, and really enjoyed writing about daily life, music, books, and so on, like I used to do way back when. But then life changed, and after a break up with my best friend I fell into a deep dark pit of depression and I lost the energy and motivation to do anything other than sofa rot.
While I am still struggling with all of that now, I am ready to pick up my cosy hobbies again, including blogging. And it’s the perfect time to start again as I am about to enter my (technically) second year of my degree, and I think documenting that journey will help keep me accountable!
So there you have it, your average first blog post. Time to unwind with a cosy, comforting soup, and an evening with my husband!
